Meanderings

Since it's snowed, I've felt a little claustrophobic around here. I grew up in southern Illinois, where I didn't really have a serious winter coat, but a glorified windbreaker, my entire life, so let's just say I am a weenie when it comes to facing the cold months here. Nonetheless, I know snow can be fun, so I bundled up Logan and Auden in their snow gear and braved the frosty day. I decided to have Logan sit in a little sled we bought at a garage sale this summer, and I pulled him around the back yard. Fun for him; not so fun for me, who was trying to lug not only my 2 1/2 year old on the sled, but also my 19-pound goliath, poofy snowsuit-wearing infant across the yard. Still, I made a nice little track before I called it quits and encouraged Logan to make some snowballs or shovel some snow. Unfortunately, the snow wasn't the packing kind, so Logan was freaking out because his mittens wouldn't allow him much mobility and the snow wasn't cooperating. At that, I threw in the towel and decided to retreat indoors for some hot cocoa.

Today, we went to story time at the library, and it was a nice change of scenery. Many other moms seemed to have the same idea I did, as the place was wall-to-wall with toddlers. It was funny seeing Logan's reaction to the event, though. The woman read from books that had little motions to go with them--a smart move, since she had a roomful of toddlers to entertain. Logan just stared at her and everyone else for most of the session, not really engaging in anything, and I start to worry: "Is my son going to be totally awkward and shy around people, or what?" It's funny how you're afraid your child will succumb to all those weaknesses you had as a child, or have as an adult. I remember when I was little my uncle's friend would call me "shy girl" because I was always so quiet at family parties and I would feel so embarrassed. So after story time was done, the woman passed out papers for coloring, and the kids moseyed over to the tables with crayons. I decided I'd hang back and see how Logan would interact with the other kids, so I struck up a conversation with a couple of moms and let Logan do his thing. He colored for a bit, but soon lost interest and left the table to look for some cars. He played by himself for a while, and one by one, the kids started leaving for home. Then, Logan spotted a little girl and her older brother a few feet away. They made eye contact. Would Logan try to talk to them? Suddenly a lightbulb seemed to go on, and he said to the little girl, "Hey, when I was born, I used to be a baby!" What a pickup line. Well, being a baby seems to work for Auden, who gets plenty of attention these days, so why not go with it? The funny thing is, it worked. Instead of looking at him like he was daft, the little girl smiled and said, "I used to be a baby, too!" Logan gave her one of his cars; they found a third one somewhere else for the big brother, and the three of them played some sort of wagon train game, following each other around the children's section for quite some time. Phew. I guess Logan isn't doomed to be a social outcast after all. Or is he? Tonight when I picked him up from the Y and asked him if he talked to any other kids, he said, "No, I was kind of being shy. But I did talk to some older kids." "What did you talk about?" "I don't know. Probably about something stupid." I couldn't help but laugh over that one.

Auden still has it easy. This weekend, he was baptized. All the family was there, soaking up all that adorableness. Auden usually sleeps through church, but he had to be "on" this Sunday, so he missed his nap and was a little surly looking when we went up to the altar to have him baptized. He wasn't on the verge of wailing or anything; he just looked at everyone with this surly expression, his forehead wrinkled like an old man's. The pastor said she thought he would be very studious, an excuse for his serious expression. Even when he wasn't being his usual smiley self, he still got some laughs. At the party afterwards, he was passed around like a hot potato and everyone said what a good baby he is--he's just so happy and pleasant. He doesn't have anything to prove--people just love him automatically, just like they should. When do things stop being that simple?